Coming of age

Years ago this big hunk of a lad was born...18 years ago to be exact.  Now look at him!  Not only is he big  BUT he let his mom give him a hug!  I look at this photo and I can feel him standing there as his sturdy self yet giving in to me and letting me get my arms around him. Hmmm, I thought, this is new...this acceptance of my affection!  It simply felt good to hold him for one second.  Memories flashed through my mind of all the different stages and I remember all the years it has taken to get him here to this moment of coming of age.  This one had a rocky start.  He was in intensive care for 2 weeks when he was born.  Hard to believe I let such a precious little thing grow up to play rugby and travel away with his friends...and now he is able to VOTE!

 

But I do let him go.  We let them grow up and become themselves.  Its a wonder really.  For all those years when they are little and we watch and watch and watch all the things they do to be sure they are safe and happy.  Then all of a sudden they walk out the door and maybe just forget to say goodbye.  Maybe they go where they say they will go or maybe they don't.  Maybe they'll make you proud or maybe they'll make a mistake.  Maybe they'll help with the chores or maybe just sit on the sofa.  Whatever they do it is impossible not to want to hug them and love them.  We have to have faith that it will all work out.

I am not a small woman unless I am standing between my boys.  Life just keeps handing us changes.  Before I looked over their heads as they brushed their teeth and now....  As soon as we get used to a routine, a place or a point of view it all shakes and morphs into something new.  Now I look up to them and when I ask them to help I just hope they say yes as I am too small to enforce my demands!  It can be frightening to look in the eye of defiance!

During the birthday phone call home to parents my dad, ever so kind and wise, explained to me that change is hard for most people.  We were talking about the shop move and I was telling them how hard it was for me to adjust to all the changes. We moved the shop in 3 days....it was like a quick labor.  Noah was a quick baby, and the similarities of a short labor and the move didn't escape me.  Hard, fast agonizing pain.  Now that it is long over we have a beautiful evolved man...(and shop) and the pain of birth is long gone.  Dad, in his manner, calmly explained to me that change is hard and we need to work through it and understand it takes adjusting.  All of a sudden I realised that I had taken change for granted and not recognised it for the beast it really is.  Now that we are all settled into our routines and everything is in the right place it is hard to remember the labor pains.

Some things I hope will never change.  I want my boys to talk and share their lives forever.  I hope nothing interfers with their natural relationship.  Easy flow of conversation, incredibly harsh joking, wrestling on the carpet or sharing the car...I hope they always have each other.

 

There is one thing I'd like to change..."am I allowed on this sofa?"  NO! Cheeky!  You are not allowed on the sofa but with that tail wagging madly how can I enforce the rule.  Clearly, it is a good thing that my boys don't have tails for when they do make a mistake, which I freely admit happens, I would not be able to resist the smile.

As I morph into a "Mature" woman I hope these lessons of life continue to make me into a better person, one that is able to go with the flow no matter what it might be.  We can only try our best. k

Comments

[maree]

Happy Birthday Big Boy...something about a Relationship between Mother & Son..it's Special...
Lovely Post Kathy...
Enjoy the Celebrations..

[Juanita]

Written from the heart of a Mom, thanks so much for sharing your world, and Happy Birthday to that strapping young man!

[Maja]

Our kids share the same birthday!
My doughter, Sanna has her 21:th birthday to day too, but this is the first time that we, her family cant´t give her breakfast in the morning. She currently lives in Ireland and are working as an au-pair.
Happy Birthday wishes for our kids!!!

[kathie]

great post! ah yes CHANGE is just plain hard! I know what your saying....
and you have had a lot of changes the past few years...
haven't we all?
Kathie

[Lisa]

Lovely post! Ah, change . . . I try to embrace it, but sometimes it is alittle hard to accept. Beautiful boys you have!

[bronnie]

Happy Birthday Noah and love the post and yes is hard but sometimes we need to just sit back and let it take us with it...trying to do this not always good at it! Let's just keep looking at the good things we are given.

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It's nice to your blog, your article is well written, thank you for sharing!

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Congratulations on your healthy, handsome sons.

[Andrea Gustin]

Ah yes...letting our kiddos grow up and face the world is not for the faint at heart, it's much harder than anticipated!! My son turned 18 this past July and is getting ready to move out with a friend...it's all happening so fast, it's surreal and he'll do well I'm sure, but it's hard to watch them go through all of life's lessons... Anyway, congratulations to you and the Birthday Boy, you have very handsome young men, who I'm sure will grow into well respected and hardworking adults! BTW, love your books & your blog...truly inspirational stuff!!

[Bluquilt]

Thanks for letting us see your lovely family. Congratulations on rasing two fine sons.
So good to see how your quilts are used at home, too. They look so beautiful on the walls. I had to smile: there is my fave quilt from your book, keeping your beloved pup cozy! Sometimes it is easy to forget that quilts are primarily meant to be used and loved. :)

[Liane]

It was one of my son's birthday yesterday too! My boys are big too, and photos of us are like yours with me dwarfed in the middle. It's great to hear you feel like I do - we have to try to embrance change, do the best we can and have faith it all works out.
I needed that reminder yesterday.
I so enjoy reading your blog for all your thoughts as well as quilt news and look forward to seeing your shop when I am next in Sydney.

[vickih]

hi Kathy well said. gotta love big strong boys who love their mum! vicki H

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You have a lovely family dear! God Bless you all!

[Pandoracharms]

How funny to see you all sitting there is your winter garb!!!
Can you believe a year ago today I was like a cat on a hot tin roof ready to board the 'plane!!!
Cath can't return - I need to see her tomoz for a cuppa!!!
And pleeeeze put me on the BOM list if I'm not there already!

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